This Could Kill Me (But I'm Screwed Either Way)
by blowmiakisscolin
Summary: CS College AU: Killian has a laptop disaster the night before a big midterm deadline. Luckily, Emma comes to his rescue with a homemade caffeine hit that may or may not kill him.
1. Prompt

So, I was sent this prompt on Tumblr by a glorious anon:

 ** _"Hi! do you know that post about the college kid who does something to his laptop and loses his whole paper and it's due the next day and so his roommate like makes him like extra caffeinated coffee with monster or whatever and the kid talks to the blinds in spanish lmao i have it mostly memorised. if you do or if you see it anytime in the future i'd love a short cs college au fic about it. they don't even have to get together in the end or anything. thanks!"_**

So, of course, I had to search out that majestical post. And let me tell you, I was not disappointed. I decided it simply had to be written. And this short fic is what resulted. Thank you to that anon for introducing me to such an epic post and for inspiring this fic. I don't usually do pre-fic introduction 'chapters' but I felt the need to post the full prompt because it was so epic. Here is said prompt:

 ** _"My final year I lived with engineering masters students. One night, I'm finishing up my final paper, I'm juuuust backing up my final copy, and my housemate's cat knocks a vase over onto my laptop. Which wouldn't be a problem except my cable had been chewed on (thanks Kobe), so the wiring was exposed. Circuits short out, I fling myself back to avoid electrocution and by the time we get the situation handled, my laptop AND my external hard drive have been fried by the surge. I mean, fried. Like, they-are-vaguely-smoking fried. I start to cry, because there goes fifty percent of my final grade._**

 _ **Ahmad just goes "it's okay, we will fix". I'm like "how the fuck do you propose that?" And he's like "I have spare laptop." "THIS IS DUE IN THE AM!"**_

 _ **And he looks me dead in the eye and goes, "I said I will help. Go get the laptop."**_

 ** _So off I go. By the time I make it downstairs, there's this chemical /reek/ in the kitchen. I go in and there he is, methodically crushing caffeine pills with the bottom of a glass on a ceramic plate, periodically dusting the powder into a cooking pot. Meanwhile, his coffee pot is chugging away on the counter. As I watch, he takes the coffee pot, empties it into the cooking pot, lets THAT come to a boil and dumps in some of his Turkish coffee, AND the remaining caffeine pill powder, which by now is starting to look uncomfortably like coke._**

 ** _He lets that steep, and by now the coffee/burning smell is so strong it's woken up all six of the other housemates, who have all come downstairs and are vacillating between staring at my laptop and at this concoction with undisguised horror. He pours this sludge into a mug, stirs in about four /tablespoons/ of sugar and slides it my way. I figure that I'm probably dead either way regardless, so I suck it back, filtering the grounds through my teeth as I go. I've had three sips when it hits, and I feel my heart trip on a beat. I must have gone white cause he nods, all pleased, and points me at his laptop._**

 ** _Long story short, I got an week's extension, didn't sleep for five days, had a conversation with my BLINDS in SPANISH, and got a B+, with a note that it was an "engaging read and well-written, when intelligible"._**

 ** _To this day, coffee any stronger than a pale off-beige makes my chest hurt."_**

So there you go. Get ready for a rollercoaster of humor and caffeine overdoses, with a Captain Swan twist.


	2. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1**

"SWANNNNNNN!"

If Killian's shriek hadn't jolted her from sleep, the crashing sound that followed and the vague smell of burning would probably have done the trick.

Emma threw back the covers and scowled as she glanced at the clock. 2:30am. What the fuck was he doing screeching her name at 2:30am?

She'd shared a house with Killian Jones for 6 months now and he'd been a pretty stellar roommate. Emma was majoring in Criminal Justice, while Killian was a couple of years older and a graduate student in Naval Construction and Marine Engineering. They had two other roommates too, but Ruby, a Hospitality Administration major, spent most of her nights at her boyfriend's apartment and she assumed Regina, their resident Pre-Law & Political Science major, was too busy locked away in her room plotting world domination to socialize.

Which meant that it was usually herself and Killian doing their well-practiced dance around the kitchen as they both prepared their dinners. And Killian who didn't mind that 7:30pm was universally accepted as her time to commandeer the TV, because he shared her addiction to Jeopardy.

They got on well, even if they never really exchanged more than pleasantries or Jeopardy commentary. But Emma liked it that way. She didn't want to go getting involved with a roommate (no matter how ridiculously attractive he was). That could be messy and she really couldn't be bothered going through the hassle of finding somewhere else to live if it all went south. Which it always did.

But her evaluation of him being a good roommate was being severely challenged as he yelled her name again, and she quickly pulled on the nearest oversized t-shirt she could find. No way she was storming into his room wearing nothing but her panties. Padding down the hallway, she reached his door and didn't bother knocking. He clearly expected her to come running in so what was the point?

"What the fuck are you-?"

She stopped dead as she took in the scene in front of her. Killian was sat on the floor, head in his hands, with the remnants of his laptop and hard drive smoking beside him. His chair was overturned and his lava lamp was cracked and leaking on his desk. Not only that, but the smell of burning (from his laptop, she guessed) was becoming almost unbearable.

"Well, shit..."

She muttered and Killian finally looked up at her.

"Your goddamn bloody cat decided that 2:30am was a good time to demand my attention and knocked my lava lamp over straight on top of my laptop."

Emma bit her lip to keep from laughing. She was about to make a sassy comment about him having a lava lamp in 2015, but decided against it with his forlorn expression. Her cat, Lily, was certainly an attention whore, and she had a soft spot for Killian. Ruby had, of course, made plenty innuendos about _that_ little fact.

"You're telling me a lava lamp managed to do that much damage?"

She eyed the wreckage that had formerly been his laptop and he scoffed.

"Well it probably would have survived the lava if Lily hadn't already done a number on the wiring. Almost blew my room up and I narrowly avoided electrocution. Your cat is a bloody demon."

Emma made a noise of agreement before holding out her hand to him.

"Come on, we can fix this. I can help."

Killian scowled at her but grabbed her hand to help himself up nevertheless.

"How _exactly_ do you propose we fix this, love?"

He snapped, and she rolled her eyes, blushing slightly as she realized he still had hold of her hand and pulling it out of his grasp. Putting her hands on her hips she canted her head toward the door.

"You can use my laptop."

Killian made a frustrated sound in the back of his throat and ran a hand through his hair, turning away from her to pace the room.

"This is due _in the morning_!"

His voice was almost an octave higher now and Emma could see he was panicking. She stepped forward and grabbed his arm, halting his pacing. When he met her gaze she smirked.

"I said I'd help. Come on."

She tugged him toward the door and he sighed, seemingly resigning himself to his fate. He followed her back to her room and she gestured to her laptop. His shoulders were slumped in defeat but he nodded and moved to set it up anyway. She told him to meet her in the kitchen in 5 minutes and left him to it. He looked vaguely confused but once again nodded his assent.

With that, Emma made for the kitchen with a jaw cracking yawn. She didn't have a paper due the next day but she did have a Final to take in the afternoon and she had a feeling she would be needing some of the concoction she was about to make too if she wanted to still be awake and functioning for that.

* * *

 _CS_

* * *

By the time Killian appeared in the doorway, Emma's homemade answer to all-nighters was almost ready.

"It smells like death in here, love. What the bloody hell are you making?"

"The answer to your prayers, buddy. Or alternatively your cause of death. But either way, you're dead anyway."

Killian frowned but stayed quiet, watching her work. She poured the coffee she'd just brewed into a large mug, filled halfway to the top. Then, she grabbed one of her thousands of cans of Monster energy drinks from the refrigerator, biting back a chuckle as she caught Killian's wide-eyed stare in her peripheral vision.

After pouring half a can of Monster into the mug, she began to sprinkle in the powder of the caffeine tablets she'd crushed while Killian was busy setting up her laptop.

"Emma..."

Killian started, concern in his voice. She laughed and shook her head.

"It's not cocaine. Jesus, Killian, it's just caffeine tablets crushed up."

She glanced over at him and saw the relief on his face and she couldn't help but laugh again as she rolled rolled her eyes and stirred her gloopy, highly unappetizing concoction. Dumping three _tablespoons_ of sugar into the already-thickened sludge, she pointedly ignored Killian's sound of undisguised horror.

Once it was ready, looking more like lumpy melted chocolate than a possibly-lethal caffeine drink, Emma handed Killian the mug. He hesitated, eyeing it warily before taking it with a small murmur of thanks in a way that told her he was already regretting this before he'd even decided whether or not to drink it.

"Well, I'm dead either way, as you so kindly pointed out."

He shot her a glance as she chuckled, and then took a deep breath before lifting the mug to his lips and gulping it down. Emma watched as he winced, remembering all too well the bitter burn of it on her throat when she'd resorted to her homemade brew before her last Finals.

After a few moments, Killian handed the mug back to her, and Emma waited for it to hit him, her gaze trained on his face. He suddenly paled and his eyes widened, a hand quickly pressing to his heart through the thin (not that she'd noticed) material of his white t-shirt (which hugged his biceps in _all_ the right ways...again, not that she'd noticed).

"Bloody hell..."

He whispered and Emma grinned, nodding in agreement and pointing in the direction of their bedrooms.

"You're welcome. Now, work."


	3. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

* * *

"Killian…you okay?"

Emma pushed open the door to his bedroom and peered inside, slightly worried that her caffeine concoction really had sent him loopy. It was almost 6am when she'd awoken to the sound of laughter from down the hallway. Certainly not something she'd have expected from Killian at that point. Crying? Yes. Laughing? Definitely not. Unless he'd completely lost the plot and was rocking in the corner, hysterically laughing to himself, she'd reasoned as she'd dragged herself out of her cozy little nest of blankets to investigate.

When her gaze fell on Kilian's disheveled form, she regarded him carefully. He wasn't curled into the fetal position in the middle of a nervous breakdown, at least. Instead, he was sat on his swivel chair, head tipped back and glassy eyes glued on the ceiling fan as it rotated, turning his chair in time with the rotations of the fan. And somehow he was finding it endlessly amusing.

"Killian…" she repeated, "What are you doing, buddy?"

She was speaking gently, becoming increasingly concerned that she'd done him some serious damage. It took him a moment, but he eventually stopped turning his chair and lifted his head. When he met her gaze, she had to bite back a chuckle. He was tripping off his ass and all she'd given him was caffeine. Emma couldn't remember ever having such a volatile response to her moonshine caffeine drink, but then again she reasoned, her tolerance for the stuff was probably worryingly high.

"Emma," he breathed, a dreamy grin on his face, "you have green eyes."

Shaking her head with a sigh, Emma folded her arms and leaned against the doorframe.

"Congratulations, Captain Observant. Maybe you should take a shower and I'll go get us some pancakes from Granny's for breakfast. Don't go anywhere, okay? Just…stay in the house."

He murmured what she assumed was agreement and with that, Emma returned to her room to pull on some sweatpants and a t-shirt. There'd be barely anyone at Granny's so early in a morning and there was no way she was making an effort to look presentable for the sake of pancakes. Checking in on Killian a final time before she headed out, she found him back at work on her laptop, alternating between muttering incoherently and humming the theme tune of Jeopardy.

* * *

 _CS_

* * *

"One pancakes with syrup and chocolate sauce, and one pancakes with sweet potato and bacon, plus two hot chocolates, one with cinnamon and both with extra whip. Oh and a side of tater tots. Thanks, Granny."

Granny scribbled down the order and passed it through to the kitchen, returning to take Emma's payment and smirking at her.

"Taking Killian's order today as well, I see?"

Emma rolled her eyes. Granny never missed a trick and she knew the orders of her regulars by heart. Ruby was her granddaughter and she and Emma would often work shifts to help the old lady out during the summers. It was always appreciated and they did get free milkshakes out of the gig, as well as a relatively decent wage, so Emma didn't mind. It wasn't as if she had family to go home to at the end of the semesters.

"We live together, remember? He's been working on a paper all night so I figured I'd be nice and get his breakfast too."

Granny was still smirking, her quirked eyebrow telling Emma that she was wholly unconvinced by that explanation. She huffed and rolled her eyes, muttering, 'think whatever you like' before pointedly engrossing herself in reading the Specials menu.

When the old lady returned with a paper bag filled with her order, Emma thanked her and made for the door.

"And Emma? It's about time, if you ask me."

It took her a moment to realize what the older woman was referring to but she immediately felt her cheeks flush as she did so. Rolling her eyes once more, Emma shook her head and shoved open the door.

"Well, I didn't ask you, Granny! Thanks for breakfast."

* * *

 _CS_

* * *

"I got you pancakes with sweet-"

Emma stopped dead in the doorway of Killian's room. Killian's _empty_ room. Her heart skipped a little until she heard the unmistakable timbre of his voice coming from down the hall…in her own room. Frowning, she wondered what the hell he was doing in her room. But as she burst in, ready to read him the riot act about invading her space, she suddenly forgot everything she was going to say.

Killian was stood by her window, having some kind of heated debate…with her blinds. In a language she assumed was Italian. She didn't even know he could speak Italian. Quickly grabbing her cell phone from her pocket and holding back her laughter as she brought up her video app, she dropped the bag she was carrying onto her bedside table. There was no way she wasn't recording this and forcing him to watch it over and over again when he finally came down from his caffeine high.

"No, stammi a sentire. Lei è come il _sole_ , e tu non fai altro che metterla nell'ombra! _Come ti_ _permetti_! Cosa? No! No, tu _pensi_ che sia tuo dovere, ma _non_ è così! Proteggerla è compito _mio_! Lei è un angelo e merita di avere luce nella sua vita e _tu_ _glielo impedisci_!"

Emma couldn't help but snigger, and Killian finally seemed to realize she was there because he spun around to face her, surprise on his face.

"Did my blinds do something to offend you?"

She lowered the cell phone and saved the recording, smirking at him with open amusement dancing in her eyes. He wasn't replying, just shuffling his feet awkwardly. She could tell she'd thrown him off kilter with her presence and she wondered what the hell he'd been saying. Judging by his early incoherent rambling, she assumed it was just random nonsense and shoved her phone back into her pocket before picking up the breakfast bag again.

"I brought you pancakes with sweet potato and bacon. Hungry?"

* * *

 _CS_

* * *

After breakfast, Killian had returned to his room to continue working on his paper and Emma had showered. He seemed to be acting a little more like a sane human being by the time she was dressed and ready to head to campus, and when she popped her head into his bedroom to let him know she was heading out, he offered her a serene smile.

"I called my prof and they're gonna give me a week extension."

"You…called your prof…while you were high as a kite?!"

The alarm on her face made him laugh and he shook his head.

"I'm fine. Got the shakes now that I'm finally coming down from it, and I'm expecting to be hit by one hell of a caffeine hangover at any minute, but I think I'm good. How does that shit not kill you though? It did an impressive number on my sanity and you're…"

Hands on her hips, she levelled a challenging glare on him.

"I'm what? A _girl_?"

He chuckled and held her gaze, not flinching or fumbling to dig himself out of a hole she'd assumed he'd fallen into.

"I was _going_ to say a lot smaller than me. You're like a little Barbie doll and you dose yourself with that stuff regularly? How are you even still alive, love?"

She scoffed and dropped her hands from her hips, hoisting her book bag higher onto her shoulder.

"I'm _not_ a Barbie doll," she snapped, before throwing him a smug smile, "And it's called tolerance. Something I seem to have a lot of living with _you_."

He grunted as though she'd wounded him and held his hand over his heart.

"Ouch, Swan, that one cut _deep_. I've been a model roommate before this little…incident, and you know it. I even put up with that bloody evil feline of yours without complaint. After last night, that should definitely get me some extra roommate points."

Swinging side-to-side on his swivel chair, he rested his chin on forearms and gazed up at her from under his lashes, a teasing smile tugging the corners of his lips up. Emma felt a rush of heat flash through her and somehow she suddenly felt like she was wearing a lot less clothes. She'd be lying if she said she couldn't feel the electricity behind his gaze but she shoved it down, ignoring the stuttering of her heart and resorting to her signature eye roll instead.

"After last night, I think we can firmly call it even. Now get on with your paper. I've gotta go."

She didn't wait for a response, hoping the flush on her cheeks wasn't as obvious as it felt, and quickly closed his bedroom door behind her as she headed out.

* * *

 _CS_

* * *

Emma had arranged to meet up with one of her best friends, August, for a study date before their Final later that afternoon. He was also majoring in Criminal Justice and they worked well as study partners. At first, they'd simply been assigned to one another for a group project in their first semester of Freshman year, but they'd hit it off pretty fast. There was nothing between them other than friendship, despite Killian's casual comments about how 'close' they were. She hadn't taken any notice and her best friend had laughed it off.

When Kilian had left, August had asked her in a conspirational whisper whether she was going to inform her roommate that he had a boyfriend or if he could tell him himself. Emma had laughed and told him not to spoil her fun.

"So I gave Killian some of my caffeine concoction last night…and he tripped his balls off."

August's coffee shot out of his nose and Emma pressed her lips together to hold back her laughter. He quickly mopped up his spilled coffee and eyed her with a knowing smirk.

"Do I even want to know why you were trying to keep him up all night? Because Jesus, Emma, I was starting to think your superpower had nothing to do with lying. It's your damn self-control when it comes to Killian Jones. How the hell has it taken until now for you to-"

"August! Shut up, will you? I'm not sleeping with Killian. He had a paper to write, that's all," she glared at him when he made a sound of exasperation, "Well, he had a paper to _rewrite_ after Lily kinda destroyed his laptop with her evil satanic ways. So, I felt guilty. And I made him some of my killer caffeine drink."

August shook his head and took a drink of his coffee.

"That cat of yours _is_ a demon. I wouldn't be surprised if she started breathing fire, or if it turned out that she's in on Regina's world domination plot. But you said Killian tripped his balls off? Not literally, I hope? That wouldn't be good news for you."

Emma reached over the table and delivered a swift shoulder-dig before leaning back and digging through her purse for her cell phone.

"Give it a fucking rest. And when I say tripping, I mean having some kind of heated debate with my blinds at 8am in Italian or something."

August's face lit up then and Emma groaned. She'd forgotten that August was fluent in Italian. He'd grown up in the system, just as Emma had, until he was 7 years old. He'd then been adopted by a kindly Italian man whose wife passed away shortly before the adoption was finalized. It had just been the two of them, and August was still very close to his Papa, travelling back to Maine to visit him at every opportunity.

" _Please_ tell me you recorded that. Captain Blue Eyes speaking Italian…you could put that on porn websites, Em."

Glaring at him, she reluctantly handed her cell phone over and waited as he watched the video. He laughed so hard that people were staring and she hissed at him to shut up before he got them thrown out of their favorite coffee place. Handing the phone back to her, she sighed and rolled her eyes.

"Right, what's the smug smirk for? What was he saying?"

"Oh, only I told you so."

Confused, Emma frowned and August made a dramatic sound of exasperation.

"You two are going to be the death of me, I swear to God. He's got it bad for you, Emma."

Now it was Emma's turn to scoff in exasperation. Of course he was going to turn this into a matchmaking venture. It was pretty much August's favorite past-time when it came to her. She didn't know how many times she'd have to tell him she wasn't interested in dating anyone before he finally accepted that she was serious. Getting her with Killian had been his latest obsession since the two of them had met just after Killian had moved in with her. He had, of course, swooned over Killian's good looks and Emma had reluctantly agreed that he was visually pleasing. But she _still_ wasn't interested. Regardless of the fact that his eyes _did_ make the little hairs on the back of her neck stand up. But no. Totally not interested.

"Why am I not surprised that you're making this play into your little matchmaking game?"

She sighed. August shook his head, suddenly serious as he snatched her phone back off her and pulled up the video.

"I'm not making this shit up, Em. You wanna know what he's saying? I'm gonna write down the exact translation for you."

Grabbing his pen and a napkin, August hit play on the video and sat in down on the table, scribbling the translation down as Killian's impressively-accented Italian sounded from the speaker. Once he'd finished, he slid the napkin across the table and Emma stared down at it.

 _'_ _No, YOU listen to ME. She is the SUN. All you do is cast a shadow over her! How DARE YOU! What? No! No, you THINK that's your purpose, but it's NOT! Protecting her is MY job! She is an angel and she deserves light in her life but you just KEEP THAT FROM HER!'_

Emma felt her mouth suddenly go dry and the words on the napkin went hazy. As much as his argument with her blinds was hilarious and ridiculous, it was the meaning behind it that had her heart stilling momentarily and her stomach clenching.

 _She is the sun._

 _She is an angel._

If that was really what Killian thought about her…she had no idea how to respond to it. Lifting her gaze to meet August's serious expression and knowing full well that shock was written all over her own face, she had absolutely no idea what to do.


	4. Chapter 3

_Okay, this was supposed to be the last chapter. But it ran away from me and took on a life of its own. So the NEXT chapter should be the last._  
 _Thank you so much to the amazing responses I've been getting to this fic. A certain review and fic rec by **kdanna03** on Tumblr had me all misty eyed. You guys are seriously the best. And I've been having such a blast writing this. I think I'll definitely be taking more humor prompts in the future._

 _Massive thank yous to **Lanni, Irene, Bri and Lauren** for editing and/or cheering me on with this when I've sent them various snippets along the way. And Lanni for being an absolute genius helping me write Sassy Gay August, who has become my favorite person to write, ever._

 _So yeah, anyway, your reviews are my favorite and I'd love to keep hearing what you think! Here's chapter 3!_

* * *

 _ **This Could Kill Me (But I'm Screwed Either Way)**  
_

* * *

 ** _Chapter 3_**

* * *

It had been a wild two weeks.

After August had translated Killian's little altercation with her blinds, Emma had been angry. She couldn't exactly pinpoint what in particular had made her angry but for the following few days she was snappy and short with him.

It was a mixture of frustration at him making their situation more complicated by bringing feelings into it, anger that he'd kept it from her (though she couldn't really blame him for that) and fear of what it all meant.

Emma didn't deal well with feelings. She didn't trust people easily and she certainly didn't open her heart up to leather-jacket-wearing scoundrels with eyes too blue to be legal. She'd been burned badly by her first and only serious boyfriend, and since then she'd sworn off of getting involved.

She did better on her own. As a kid who'd lived her entire life in the foster system, making it to college on a scholarship thanks to one of the only group home mothers she'd ever felt gave a damn about the kids in her care, she'd never really had a support system.

She didn't really have friends, apart from August and his boyfriend Graham, and Ruby to a certain extent. She kept in touch with David, a guy she'd shared a group home with for a brief time, and he'd been like a brother to her, but that was it.

So to have someone feel so vehement about protecting her that he argued with an inanimate object while high as a kite on caffeine, subsequently (and she was sure, unintentionally) revealing his feelings for her...well, it scared the shit out of her.

But at first that fear had translated to anger. It was almost a week after the fact, when Killian was done with the paper that had caused all the upheaval in the first place, that he finally cornered her about her icy behavior.

"Swan. We need to talk. What exactly have I done to offend you?"

He'd cornered her in the hallway. Nowhere to run unless she walked out of the front door...and she'd only just walked in. So instead she rolled her eyes and ignored the knot quickly forming in her stomach. She'd been hoping to avoid a confrontation as long as possible.

"Nothing."

She muttered, attempting to brush past him. But he grabbed her arm, gently but firmly, and she clenched her jaw.

"That's a lie if ever I heard one. You're not very convincing, love. Would you like to try that again?"

" _Vaffanculo_."

She said under her breath, before turning to face him again. The very little Italian she'd picked up from August over the years consisted solely of curse words, and she rarely used them. But today was an exception.

"What?"

He frowned, clearly confused, and she scowled at him.

"I said 'go fuck yourself' in Italian."

He quirked an eyebrow at her and she could see he was trying not to smirk, which only caused her glare at him more.

"Impressive, Swan. I didn't know you spoke Italian."

She tried to read him but all she got was amusement and her frustration grew. Did he _really_ not remember? She knew her drink was potent but she'd never experienced loss of memory from it.

"Yeah, well, August's dad is Italian. I've picked some stuff up."

At the mention of August, Killian's slight smirk was gone and he let go of her arm. Emma was well aware that he was convinced she was secretly dating August, or at least sleeping with him. And she knew she could tell him the truth about August but she simply didn't feel it was her place to do so.

"That's...good. But I didn't corner you to talk about your propensity for multilingual cursing, as impressive as it is. You've been rather cold with me this past week and I want to know what I did to incite you. So I can apologize for whatever it is I need to apologize for."

Emma folded her arms, suddenly finding the curled edging of wallpaper behind him intensely interesting.

"You don't have anything to apologize for."

She said flatly, focusing on keeping her expression neutral. He frowned and shook his head.

"I already pointed out that you're a terrible liar, darling. Don't make me beg."

She met his gaze and quirked a bemused eyebrow at him, but he simply waited with an expression somewhere between hopeful and expectant. He was like a fucking puppy dog. A very attractive, gorgeously-accented puppy dog. Emma hated that he got past her walls so easily.

"It really doesn't matter. Just forget it. We're fine. And I have work to do, so if you'll excuse me."

She didn't miss the way the hopeful look on his face turned to disappointment, shoulders slumping slightly as he made no attempt to stop her walking away. She was up the stairs and locking her bedroom door behind her before she allowed herself to overthink it.

He didn't remember his trippy debate with her blinds, and she was starting to wonder if it had actually meant anything. He was acting pretty much the same way toward her as he always had before, albeit that they were interacting more now, and she found it very difficult to read him.

He was naturally somewhat flirty, she knew, and used more endearments in a single conversation than Emma had used in her lifetime. But that was just Killian. It was the way he interacted with everyone.

So what was she missing that Granny and August and Ruby and everyone else seemingly picked up on so easily?

Focusing on her reading that evening proved difficult when her mind kept wandering to a certain blue-eyed Englishman and the disappointment on his face when she'd shot him down. But how exactly could she explain to him the reason for her distance?

 _'Well you revealed to my blinds, in Italian, that you have feelings for me and I'm mad at you because...well, I don't really know why I'm mad at you for that but I am and you've made it all complicated now because I can't stop thinking about you.'_

Yeah, that'd work. That was totally a conversation she wanted to have. Scowling over at the clock beside her bed, she sighed. 8pm. Grabbing her phone, she fired off a quick text to August, informing him that they were going out drinking so to cancel whatever plans he had.

Of course, her best friend was not one to turn down an invitation to go out, so they arranged to meet at 10 and Emma set her mind on finding someone to take her mind off of Killian Jones. Even just for one night.

* * *

 _ **CS**_

* * *

Their night was not as eventful as Emma had hoped.

She'd tried so damn hard to focus on the series of nameless, faceless guys she'd allowed to shamelessly grind against her to the pulsing beat of each generic club song. But every time she tried to lose herself to the music and the hands on her waist...she imagined it was Killian.

And then she'd pull away and make her excuses, dragging her weary best friend to the bar and trying to pretend nothing was bothering her. But August knew her better than that and gave an exasperated scoff after ordering them more drinks.

"You really think letting these horny frat boys grope you is going to distract you from swooning over Lieutenant Dreamboat back at home? Reality check, Swan Princess, you're fighting a losing battle. Why don't you just jump his bones? You've been dancing around each other long enough."

Emma glared at him, lips pressed together into a thin line that she hoped would successfully convey her irritation. If she didn't answer, maybe he'd shut up. She hated that he could read her so well and quickly shifted her full attention to the rum and coke the bartender set down in front of her.

She heard his heavy sigh beside her and rolled her eyes as she sipped her drink, finally turning her head to meet his critical gaze.

"August, there is _nothing_ going on between me and Killian. It's all in your imagination. That incident the other week was a one-off when he was tripping on a lethal dose of caffeine. He's been totally normal with me since then. It meant nothing."

There was the scoff again and she glared at him over her glass.

"You're delusional, sweetheart. Any fool can see the way that boy looks at you. He may as well have a neon sign over his gorgeous head saying 'I heart Emma Swan'. No, to be honest, even _that_ would be more subtle than his longing looks."

Rolling her eyes, Emma pushed herself off of her barstool and smoothed out her dress. It was tight little red number that fit her like a second skin and it was certainly garnering her plenty of attention. Which had been the point. But August was killing her vibe with all the talk of Killian, when distracting herself away from thoughts of him was the whole point of them being out.

"Can you please just drop it? I don't want to talk about him. I wanna drink and dance and _not_ think about Killian Jones. Alright?"

August gave her a knowing look and she poked her tongue out at him with a sugary-sweet smile, to which he simply shook his head in defeat.

"No taking anyone home tonight though," at her raised eyebrow he grinned, "You said I could crash at your place. And you _know_ I don't do sofas."

* * *

 _ **CS**_

* * *

August and Emma had shared a bed on multiple occasions. Neither of them thought anything of it, but Emma tried not to think about the fact that he'd been the only guy in her bed for over 6 months.

She may have sworn off relationships, but she sure as hell hadn't sworn off sex. One-nighters had been her go-to since her first and only serious boyfriend had fucked her over and left her with very little trust when it came to letting people into her heart. But even her one-nighters had been in short supply lately and she'd left clubs with only the prospect of her gay best friend to share her bed.

She didn't want to psychoanalyze why exactly she hadn't felt an inclination to invite anyone back. Her dry spell had started around about the time a certain Englishman began sharing her living quarters. But no, she was _not_ going to make that connection.

She knew she could probably also hold August accountable for some of the missed opportunities when it came to finding a temporary bedmate. He was firmly Team Captain Swan, as he had dubbed them, and Emma rolled her eyes so hard at that, that she was sure they were going to detach from her skull and fall out eventually.

So August liked to cockblock the few attempts she'd half-heartedly made at leaving with someone. He'd put on what he liked to call 'his best straight guy voice' and pretend to either be an affronted boyfriend, her older brother or her parole officer.

She had to admit, he put on a good show considering he wasn't a Performing Arts major, and as much as it annoyed her when he chased away her would-be one-night suitors, she couldn't stay mad at him for long.

More often than not they'd return to her place and crawl into her bed, passing out the second their heads hit the pillows. In the morning he always made her pancakes. That was their routine and it'd been going on for almost as long as they'd known one another. It had become some kind of post-party tradition.

But from the outside, or at least to Killian Jones, it didn't look quite so innocent. He would quite regularly bump into August coming out of Emma's room in the morning wearing just his boxer shorts or making a monster amount of pancakes in their kitchen while Emma remained asleep.

So he could be forgiven for assuming they were either secretly dating and doing an awful job of hiding it, or had some kind of friends-with-benefits arrangement going on.

He tried not to acknowledge the flash of jealousy he felt each time he encountered August, but it was becoming harder to ignore. He tried to tell himself it was simply because Emma was a beautiful woman and he hadn't gotten laid for well over 6 months.

He'd had a very complicated relationship with one of his former professors, and when it had ended he'd closed himself off. The professor in question, the only female professor on the engineering course, was supposedly going to leave her husband for him once he'd graduated, but of course that never happened.

Instead, she'd taken a position on the opposite side of the country and disappeared from the face of the earth, leaving a heartbroken Killian with a lot of questions and no answers.

He'd started graduate school on the firm decision that he was better off on his own. His brother hadn't agreed, of course, and had encouraged him to get out there and get over Milah by meeting someone else.

But he hadn't felt even the slightest pull of attraction to anyone for months after Milah left. That was, until he met Emma Swan.

He'd been 'interviewed' for the room he was renting by Regina and Ruby. They'd fired questions at him and by the end of what felt more like an interrogation than a house viewing, Ruby was grinning at him broadly and Regina was as unreadable and severe as ever.

Though they were both attractive women, Killian simply wasn't interested, no matter how many flirty smiles Ruby graced him with.

He only met Emma on the day he moved in. And when she flew through the door, almost crashing into him in her haste, she stopped dead and stared at him.

"Who the hell are you?"

She'd asked sharply. And for the first time in months he'd felt something. It started as a fluttering in his chest, a response to the most gorgeous green eyes he'd ever seen piercing him as she waited for an answer.

He'd hurriedly introduced himself and she'd seemed uninterested in small talk, exchanging forced pleasantries before she'd excused herself and breezed past him up the stairs. He'd felt all off-kilter for the rest of the day, repeatedly finding himself thinking about those green eyes and her blonde hair framing her face.

Within a month he'd known he had it bad. And it only got worse the first time he'd met August. The guy had looked him up and down as they'd been awkwardly introduced by Emma, and Killian had felt his heart sink. She introduced him as her friend, but Killian had been sure she was downplaying it.

That suspicion had only grown since the first meeting, especially considering the amount of times he'd seen him emerging from Emma's bedroom practically-naked.

He'd tried for months to convince himself he wasn't jealous, but he knew it was a useless endeavor. So in an attempt to combat his growing feelings for the prickly blonde down the hallway, he'd mostly avoided her. And that wasn't easy considering they lived together.

For a few months their interactions had mostly consisted of exchanging pleasantries and Jeopardy answers. Things were somewhat comfortable between them though, and he thought he had a handle on his feelings for her.

Until the night she made him that godawful caffeine concoction. Since then, she'd been acting awfully cold with him and he'd wracked his brain trying to remember if he'd said or done anything to offend her while high on caffeine.

But in all honesty, that entire week had been a blur or sleep deprivation and artificial stimulants. He couldn't even recall sleeping for five whole days.

It had resulted in him passing the paper, luckily, with a somewhat impressive B+ and the comment "engaging read and well-written, when intelligible". To say he'd been pleasantly surprised was an understatement. And the first thing he'd wanted to do was tell Emma.

She'd congratulated him somewhat flatly and then shut herself back in her room, leaving him in the hallway with disappointment weighing heavily in his chest. It had taken him a while before he'd managed to corner her and bring up her iciness with him, but she'd side-stepped it once more.

He'd heard her leave the house later that night and the next morning he'd come face to face with a half-naked August yet again. He knew he had no right to be jealous or angry that she had her 'boyfriend' staying over but it was wearing him down. Every other time he'd bitten his lip but this time, before he could right himself, the words were falling from his lips.

"Perhaps you could consider wearing more clothes if you're going to parade around the house in the mornings, mate."

August considered him carefully, gaze raking over his face as an almost-imperceptible smirk tugged at his lips. Killian clenched his jaw.

"Apologies, I didn't mean to offend you with my chest," he grinned then and folded his arms, "So I heard about your laptop disaster at Lily's hands...or, well...paws."

Killian wasn't entirely sure why August was suddenly making small talk but he shrugged.

"Yeah. I got it sorted. Emma's homemade caffeine hit helped a lot, even if it pretty much felt like I was on some kind of acid trip for days."

August chuckled and shook his head.

"You're a braver man than me, Jones. I value my vital organs and actually being alive too much to ever try the stuff."

"You've been dating Emma for how long? And you've never been curious about that concoction?"

August smirked. Killian clearly thought he was being subtle with his tactics but nonchalantly testing the waters was not his strong suit.

"I've never been curious. I've simply always known it's not for me," he paused and held Killian's wavering gaze, "I'm quite particular when it comes to two things. Women and coffee. Or to put it another way - I like my women the way I like my coffee. I _don't_ like coffee."

Killian stared blankly at the other man for a long moment before realization finally dawned on him and his eyes widened in surprise.

"Wait...you're...?"

"Gayer than Tom Cruise rollerblading in Daisy Dukes, sweetcheeks."

Killian blinked, rendered speechless for a minute before he chuckled and shook his head.

"I thought you two were together this whole time. Or...y'know."

"Friends with benefits? Yeah, I think my boyfriend would be pretty upset if Emma and I were doing the naughty."

Both men laughed then, the tension that had previously been tangible in Killian's whole demeanor whenever August spoke to him now suddenly gone.

"So, now that I've set you straight - pun intended - are you going to quit with the jealous glares and glower power everytime I come over?"

August quirked an eyebrow and Killian's cheeks flushed slightly. He shifted on his feet and cleared his throat, trying his best to sound casual.

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"Cut the crap, Captain Hot Stuff. You think I haven't seen the yearning looks and doe-y eyes you aim at Emma?"

"I don't yearn."

Killian quickly responded, his tone and expression equally bemused. The situation had quickly turned around and he had not expected such a 360. He wasn't ready to pour his heart out about Emma to the guy he'd assumed was sleeping with her until approximately three minutes earlier.

"Like hell you do. I've seen the video."

At the lack of recognition or embarrassment on Killian's face, August gave a start. He'd assumed Emma had confronted him about that night but obviously he'd underestimated her ability to avoid what she didn't want to deal with.

"Okay. You haven't seen that. But _please_ tell me you at least remember what happened the night you dosed yourself with toxic levels of caffeine..."

Killian dropped his gaze and shook his head, clearly embarrassed by his missing memories. There was getting drunk and not remembering what you'd said or done, but then there was getting caffeine high and forgetting it all. He hadn't even known the latter was possible.

"Well," August continued, "you were tripping your balls off, as Emma so nicely put it. You had a heated debate with her blinds in Italian, and let me tell you, I speak Italian and that was hot. She was amused even though she had no idea what you were saying, so she recorded it. Then she showed me and I translated it."

He paused then and Killian stared at him expectantly. Part of him wanted to know what the hell he'd said, so perhaps he could finally apologize to her and know what he was apologizing for. But there was another part that was begging him to remain blissfully ignorant.

"What did I say...?"

He finally asked, wary and dreading the answer. August sighed and canted his head to Emma's door beside him.

"I'll just show you the video. Let me get her cell phone."

He disappeared inside and a few moments later reappeared, waving Emma's cell phone. He pulled up the video and handed it to Killian, watching his face carefully as the video played back to him.

"I don't even speak much Italian-"

"Well clearly you do when you're high. Do you know what you're saying?"

Killian frowned and rewatched the video, his lips pursed as he tried to translate his own words. And he couldn't help but be a little bit in awe that he apparently had the ability to speak near-perfect Italian when he was tripping.

"Something about the sun and protecting something?"

He sighed, handing the phone back to August and shaking his head. It still didn't explain to him why Emma had put such a distance between them since that happened.

"You said she's the sun, and an angel. You shouted at the blinds for thinking they were protecting her, when that was your job. And you were angry because they kept light from her, when she deserves light in her life."

August explained, his voice now gentle and his teasing tone gone. Killian stared at him in shock, his heart stuttering and a knot forming in his stomach. He'd said that about her and she knew. She knew how he felt about her. And she was pulling away.


	5. Chapter 4

_Well, we've arrived! The final (ridiculously long, seriously it's over 7K words!) chapter! I've gotten such incredible feedback forthis and I cannot thank you enough for reading and reviewing. You guys give me life. This was the first prompt I ever took and I'm pretty pleased with how it's turned out._

 _Thank you once again to my fabulous and ever-patient beta/bestfriend Lanni for all the soundboarding and for keeping me sane when this chapter got on top of me. Lanni is also played a big part in bringing Sassy Gay August to life, and he seems to be everyone's favorite lol. I promised a few people there'd be more of him in this chapter, and I kept that promise ;) and he's as sassy as ever._

 _Thank you once more for all the support. And if you want to send me prompts, you can throw them into my Ask box on Tumblr! (blowmiakisscolin)._

* * *

 **Chapter 4**

* * *

Emma Swan awoke with an acute awareness of three things: she had coffee grounds in her hair, the remnants of her blinds on the floor and Killian Jones in her bed.

The sunlight was streaming in through her window and she squinted, trying to piece together what the hell had happened to lead to her current situation. Sitting up, she winced. She knew how to differentiate a caffeine hangover from a regular hangover, and this was definitely the latter.

Killian remained asleep, mouth open and drool on her pillow. She rolled her eyes. Even like that he still managed to look far too damn attractive for his own good.

Sighing, Emma flopped back onto her pillow and thought about the weeks leading up to where they were now. It had definitely been a rollercoaster.

After August had finally clued Killian in that his preferences were decidedly _not_ of the female variety, the thinly-veiled avoidance techniques Killian had previously employed whenever August was over had stopped. They'd actually become quite friendly, which of course had Emma watching them suspiciously. Killian had gone from barely tolerating August to suddenly being BFFs, and she'd cornered him about it pretty quickly.

He'd shrugged and said they'd put aside their differences and found they actually got along rather well. But Emma had not been so easily convinced. Her inbuilt lie detector tended to be wonky when it came to Killian, but she tried not to overthink that. She wouldn't admit, even to herself, that he affected her.

He'd seemed a little more tentative with her too. As though there was something he was trying to say, and it was on the tip of his tongue but he couldn't quite force it past his lips. He'd shake his head and mutter 'nevermind ', and she'd be left wondering what the hell he was holding back.

After a week of that, Emma was getting frustrated with him. The distance between them was painfully apparent and she wasn't the only one doing the avoiding. She knew she shouldn't really be angry with him for doing something she was also guilty of, but misplaced anger was easier for her to deal with than actually addressing the real issue.

Emma wasn't the only one fed up with it all. August had watched them awkwardly dance around one another and had become more and more irritated by their denial. They were both aware of the video and what Killian had said the night of his personal caffeine apocalypse...yet they were in a stalemate.

So, he'd decided that manufacturing a situation in which he could push them together and hopefully force them to deal with it was the best option.

Getting Emma to agree to going out to party had never been an issue. The girl could drink August under the table she rarely said no to the suggestion of a night out. Killian, however, was somewhat wary when August had nonchalantly suggested they go out to a party that night.

"Is it a gay bar?"

He'd asked carefully, and August had burst out laughing, assuring him that no, he wasn't planning on taking him to a gay bar. With that assurance, Killian somewhat hesitantly agreed. As far as he was concerned, there was a group of them going. But in reality, it was just August, Killian and Emma...

* * *

 _CS_

* * *

"Is everyone else meeting us here?"

Emma and Killian were stood at the bar, the tension between them palpable and the pulsing beat of the music doing nothing to ease it.

"Oh, it's just us three tonight. The others bailed."

Emma narrowed her eyes at him but August carefully avoided meeting her gaze, busying himself with trying to attract the attention of the bartender. Emma was acutely aware of his manipulative little plan, and she was going to be having strong words with him about meddling at a later date.

August had ordered them all drinks then and they'd downed numerous shots together, but he had _conveniently_ caught sight of someone he knew on the opposite side of the bar, excusing himself and leaving the two of them alone.

Emma knew exactly what her best friend was trying to do and she made sure to send him her best glare across the bar when she eventually caught his eye. He winked back at her with a smug expression on his face and she made a mental note to make his murder as painful as possible.

Downing her drink quickly and clenching her jaw, Emma finally turned to face Killian, who was feigning interest in watching the crowd of drunken college kids on the dancefloor.

"So. Killian," she shouted over the music, and he turned to meet her gaze, "Dance?"

She motioned to the crowded dancefloor and he paused for a moment before shrugging, gesturing for her to lead the way and smiling when she relented.

The sway of her hips in her short, tight, black leather skirt made him uncomfortably snug in his skinny jeans but he simply couldn't look away, hypnotized by the way she moved. She wore sky-high heels that accentuated her legs and made him wonder how the hell she stayed upright, and a scooped neck, white and slightly transparent sleeveless blouse that had him enamored and slightly jealous of the tone and definition of her arms.

Basically, she was a marvel, and he was utterly mesmerized by her while trying to maintain some semblance of dignity. Thankfully, she seemed oblivious to his body's response to her, and the loud music had him thankful that he wouldn't hear how affected he was if she spoke to him.

As he followed her toward the crowd of gyrating bodies, she grabbed his hand and tugged him along behind her, through groups of people too drunk to acknowledge them, until she found a space big enough for the two of them.

It was cramped and hot and sweaty, but the music was good and the atmosphere was contagious. There was enough space that they weren't pressed together shoulder to hip but they were definitely forced to invade each other's personal space.

After the first song merged into the second, the beats almost identical, they both relaxed and moved more easily to the music. Emma smiled and moved her hips, eyes drifting closed as the alcohol she'd consumed began to take effect, and Killian's nails dug into his palms to keep from reaching out to brush her hair back off her face.

He'd never been out drinking with her, but the buzz of alcohol under his skin, along with the sight of her relaxed in a way he'd never seen before, had him wondering why the hell he hadn't been dancing with her sooner. She had him enchanted, as always.

Somewhere between the fourth and fifth songs, a drunken kid stumbled into Emma from behind, causing her in turn to stumble into Killian. His hands instinctively settled on her waist, steadying her, and she gazed up at him with a look he couldn't quite place. Curiosity? Hesitance?

Her hands were resting gently on his chest, his heart pounding firmly beneath her palm, and he was sure she could feel it racing. For a moment it felt as though the entire club faded into the background and he held her gaze, fingers finally lifting to push her hair back behind her ear as his gaze dropped to her lips.

She flinched then, startled, the moment suddenly broken with his fingers still lingering against her cheek. She stepped back abruptly and turned, heading for the bar. He was frozen to the spot, staring after her and watching as she ordered herself two shots, immediately tipping them back, before making for the ladies' room.

Killian sighed and slowly made his way off the dancefloor. It always felt like they'd take a step forward, only to take two steps back. He wasn't sure how she felt about him, but he knew how he felt about her. He was solely going on what August had told him, trusting that her best friend knew her best and wouldn't push them toward each other if it was a dead end.

He waited patiently for her to return, casting glances toward the restrooms now and again and eyeing his watch. When almost ten minutes had passed, he began to get a little nervous. Surely ten minutes in the bathroom warranted a search party of some sort.

Feeling his phone buzz, he pulled it out and saw Emma's name on the screen.

 _"Had to get outta there. Sorry. Have a nice night."_

His heart sank as he read the text, disappointment blooming in his chest. He'd scared her off. He'd almost tried to kiss her and had clearly spooked her. Perhaps August had been wrong after all.

* * *

 _CS_

* * *

The cab ride back home seemed to take an eternity. All Emma wanted was to eat the entire contents of the refrigerator (drinking tended to result in a food coma at the end of the night) and wash it down with the bottle of Captain Morgan that Killian had left lying around in the kitchen.

After paying the cab driver with a hefty tip, an unspoken thank you for _not_ attempting to make awkward conversation or hit on a hot drunk chick, she dragged herself up to the front door. She managed to get in after three fumbled attempts with her keys and sighed with relief as she staggered inside.

She tried not to think about what a mess she'd made of the night. She tried not to think about Killian or the way her heart had almost pounded its way out of her chest when his gaze had dropped to her lips.

He'd been seconds away from kissing her and she'd panicked. Then, after she'd given him the deer-in-headlights response and practically ran screaming in the opposite direction, she'd panicked some more.

She'd sat in the bathroom stall for far longer than she'd planned before deciding that slipping out of the side door and going home before she could fuck things up between them even further was the best plan of action.

She tried not to think about the hurt and disappointment he'd probably felt when he'd read that text too. And even though she knew it was incredibly selfish, she just hoped he didn't retaliate by bringing some other girl home. In all honesty though, she knew he wasn't the type to sleep with someone just to spite her.

It took all of fifteen minutes for her to polish off Killian's bottle of rum that she'd swiped from the kitchen, and it was hitting her before she'd even finished it. But the buzz of the alcohol felt good and loosened the knot in her stomach, finally. She lay back on her bed, eyes trained on the ceiling, letting the world spin until the shrill ringing of her cell phone startled her out of her rum-induced daze. Fumbling for the phone, she scoffed when she saw August's name (or at least what looked like his name, she couldn't quite tell even when she squinted) and answered it with a less-than-friendly greeting.

"Hello to you too, Swan Queen. Where'd you disappear to?"

She could hear the muted thump of music in the background and surmised that he'd stepped outside to call her. Gritting her teeth, she glared up at the ceiling again.

"You know I seriously hate that nickname, you asshat."

"Oh, sister, could you slur your words a little more?" August chuckled, "Sounds like someone's having a fun night. Am I interrupting something? Have you and Sergeant Sexy Scruff headed for somewhere more private already?"

The background noise coupled with August's raised voice were giving her a headache and Emma winced, not even bothering to roll her eyes at his gleeful tone.

"I'm at home. Alone," she replied flatly, "Goodnight, August."

The last thing she heard before she hung up was her best friend's strangled scoff of exasperation and a muttered curse. For a while after she'd hung up, Emma simply lay there, unmoving, seeing how fast she could let the room spin around her before it started to make her feel nauseous. Groaning and squeezing her eyes shut, she found herself thinking back to Killian's caffeine-fueled run-in with her blinds.

At the time, it had seemed hilarious and ridiculous, but after consuming enough rum to knock out men over twice her size, it suddenly seemed perfectly reasonable. And the more she mulled it over, the more she was siding with Killian.

"Y'know what, he's right," she mumbled, sitting up and swaying slightly as she glared at her blinds, vision blurring at the edges, "I do deserve light in my life and _you_ are keeping it from me, you son of a bitch!"

* * *

 _CS_

* * *

Killian left the club almost immediately after receiving Emma's text. He was hoping he'd perhaps catch her outside, smooth things over and talk her into enjoying the rest of their night. Convince her that trying to kiss her was a mistake and he was sorry for overstepping the very hazy, unspoken boundaries that apparently existed between them. But, as he'd suspected, she was long gone.

It made him a little uneasy knowing she'd jumped a cab by herself, as inebriated as she was. But he heard her voice in his head then, snapping at him that she was perfectly capable of looking after herself, and it made him smile despite himself.

Eventually managing to hail a cab himself and sinking back into the seat, his fingers hovered over the keypad of his phone. But every time he drafted a text to her, he ended up deleting it, scoffing at himself for his sudden inability to string a sentence together. By the time he'd deleted the eighth attempt, the cab was pulling up and he shoved his phone into his pocket, paying the guy and trying to ignore the heavy feeling of dread settling in his stomach as he made his way inside.

He assumed she'd be asleep, possibly passed out on the sofa or, with any luck, safely tucked up in bed. He knew he probably didn't have to check on her but he knew he wouldn't sleep at all if he wasn't 100% sure she was in her bed. After all, he didn't know that she'd definitely returned home. The shoes she'd kicked off at the bottom of the stairs could probably have sufficed as proof of her presence but he wanted to be sure.

As he climbed the stairs, the alcohol in his system making him stumble once or twice and curse under his breath when he almost faceplanted after missing a step, he stopped dead when he heard a muffled voice.

Emma's muffled voice.

He tilted his head to listen, trying to figure out what she was saying over the ringing in his ears that always came when he'd crossed the line from pleasantly buzzed to drunk. She was definitely having some kind of argument, and he assumed she was on her cell phone due to the distinct lack of a retaliating voice.

Edging toward her room, he frowned. He couldn't piece together what exactly she was arguing about, but she seemed pretty vehement about light for some reason. When he heard her say his name, he froze, eyes trained on her closed door and heart stilling in his chest. He suddenly felt like he was eavesdropping on something he really shouldn't be, and almost turned back toward his own room until he heard a loud clatter followed by a string of curses.

Throwing open her door without bothering to knock, his alcohol-fogged mind didn't know quite how to process the scene in front of him.

Emma was tangled in her blinds.

One side had completely detached from the rail, and the other was doing a somewhat impressive job of remaining intact, despite the petite blonde caught between the slats. She stilled as he entered the room, eyes comically wide in surprise.

She reminded him of Lily, and that one time the demon cat had gotten herself entangled in his blinds while chasing a bug. The bug had escaped, but Lily had required a dashing rescue from Killian. Not that the satanic feline had been grateful. No, he still had scars from that rescue mission. He wondered if Lily's owner would leave him with scars too, if he tried to help free her from her current predicament.

"Of course it's _you_ ," she grumbled, shifting slightly in a futile attempt to free herself and quickly giving up, "Well, are you gonna just stand there or make yourself useful and help me get down?"

Killian bit back a chuckle. She was even feistier when she was fueled by far too many shots. Moving around her bed, he scanned the blinds for her best route to freedom. Emma was balancing on her tiptoes on her windowsill, swaying slightly and fast running out of patience as she watched him carefully consider her predicament.

"Christ, Jones, this isn't fucking Mission Impossible. Just…catch me."

Before he had time to ask her what on earth she meant by that, Emma was launching herself off the windowsill. She was still well and truly ensnared by two dozen aluminum slats but they immediately gave up their fight to stay attached to the railing as she hurled herself at Killian.

He landed on his back on her bed, Emma sprawled out on top of him, the air whooshing out of his lungs on impact. She sat back quickly, straddling him, and he instinctively grabbed her waist to keep her from tumbling backwards onto the floor.

If he hadn't been quite so drunk or quite so disoriented, Killian knew he would probably have thoroughly enjoyed her current position. But thankfully his blood-flow down south wasn't as quick on the uptake (no pun intended) as it usually was when he was sober, and Emma seemed too preoccupied with disentangling herself from what had once been her blinds to notice anyway.

She was muttering to herself as she tried in vain to free her oversized t-shirt from the wreckage and continued to fail miserably. Growling with exasperation, after endlessly long moments of torment for Killian, she made yet another decision that had the air backing up in his chest.

She whipped off her shirt.

Straddling him then in nothing but the most adorable pair of duckling pyjama shorts he'd ever seen, she looked extremely satisfied with herself as the remnants of her blinds clattered to the floor. Killian could feel his cheeks burning as he clenched his jaw and tried desperately to keep his eyes on her face.

Emma's cheeks were a very lovely shade of pink but he knew that had more to do with her exertion to remove the mess of aluminum previously tangled around her than any embarrassment at their current situation. She blew hair out of her face and tilted her head back slightly, her small hands were resting on his stomach to keep her balance.

"God, I'm so fucking hot."

She whined, and Killian tried desperately not to wonder how she would taste if he attached his lips to her neck, where he couldn't help but watch a bead of sweat journeying down toward her collarbone.

"Don't I know it."

He hadn't realized he'd muttered the words out loud until he met her gaze and saw the slight smirk tugging her lips. And then his cheeks burned even hotter. He'd been so focused on _not_ devouring her on the spot that he'd slipped up and verbalized his thoughts.

But Emma didn't seem affronted or startled by his confession, and instead she tilted her head as she pressed her hands down experimentally against his abs. A small hum of appreciation fell from her lips and Killian tried his best to hold onto his composure.

"Swan? Stop. What're you doing?"

He wheezed, and Emma grinned, suddenly sliding warm hands underneath his t-shirt and poking his abdominal muscles, which involuntarily bunched under her probing fingers.

"Damn."

She breathed, and he swallowed hard, clamping his eyes shut when she shifted on his lap. He took a deep breath and gritted his teeth, wondering what terrible thing he'd done in a past life to deserve such torture.

It was only when Emma started giggling that his eyes snapped open. Partly to behold the sight of _Emma Swan_ actually _giggling_ , a sound falling from her lips that he'd never believed her to be capable of, and partly to see what exactly she was finding so amusing.

Her arms were folded and she was rolling her eyes, the action comfortingly familiar despite their very _unfamiliar_ proximity.

"They're only boobs, Killian, Jesus. Never seen a woman's boobs before?"

Swallowing hard and praying his voice didn't come out sounding like a Catholic choirboy's, Killian once again focused his bleary gaze on her face.

"I've seen plenty, love. Just wasn't exactly prepared for a private show this evening."

She climbed off his lap then, seemingly unfazed by the fact that she was half naked. If it wasn't for the fact that Killian had routinely bumped into her wandering the house in nothing but a white vest top and red lace panties, munching on chips or too focused on texting to acknowledge his presence, he'd chalk it up to the fact that the alcohol in her system had drowned her inhibitions.

Scrambling to his feet, Killian subtly adjusted his pants, which were now uncomfortably snug, and bolted for the door as Emma inspected the sorry-looking carcass of her blinds that lay on the floor. He had to marvel at the fact that he was running _away_ from a half-naked woman, because never in his life would he have imagined such a scenario. But Emma barely even glanced up as he retreated.

"Get some sleep, Swan. I'll leave the aspirin out in the morning."

And with that, he slipped out of her room, firmly closing the door behind himself and pausing for a moment to orientate himself. The many times he'd dreamed about a topless Emma straddling him…the circumstances had certainly never been quite so bizarre. Letting out a breath he hadn't realized he'd been holding, Killian shook his head and dragged himself toward his own room, part of him convinced he'd wake up and realize the whole evening had been one crazy rollercoaster of a dream.

* * *

 _CS_

* * *

Killian was just starting to drift off when the sound of something crashing to the floor downstairs had him bolting upright in bed. Kicking back his covers with a sound of frustration, cursing the fact that he was now decidedly sobering up, he quickly made his way down to investigate the next drama to unfold.

He wasn't surprised in the slightest when he found Emma sat amid the chaos on the kitchen floor, half the contents of the cupboard she'd emptied scattered around her, and a cup cradled in her hands. (In all honesty, he was just relieved she was wearing a t-shirt again now). He frowned as he leaned closer and almost gagged when he realized what she was drinking.

"Emma…did you put coffee in cold water?"

She looked up at him, crunching the grounds between her teeth without even blinking, and nodded slowly.

"I don't know about you, lass, but that's gonna make _me_ throw up in a minute. Stop it. Give it to me."

She frowned when he tried to take the mug from her hands and he sighed in exasperation. She continued to crunch the coffee, holding his gaze defiantly and he rolled his eyes. Drunken Emma apparently shared startling similarities with a petulant five year old.

Holding his hand out for the mug and piercing her with a gaze that challenged her to test him, it was Emma's turn to roll her eyes and she reluctantly handed over the mug. He quickly tossed the contents down the drain and replaced it with water, grabbing some aspirin and turning to assess the mess she'd made of the kitchen. He'd tackle that in the morning.

Emma was still sat among the debris, and he could tell she was perilously close to curling up and making a bed among the packets of ramen and tinned soups she was currently surrounded by. Shaking his head, he put down the water and leaned down to effortlessly hoist his drunken roommate into his arms, bridal style. Emma's arms immediately curled around his neck and he carefully grabbed the glass of water again before making for the stairs.

Her head lolled against his chest and she was drifting off before he'd reached the top of the stairs. Maneuvering expertly into her room, he placed the glass of water down next to her bed, and then turned to gently lay her down…

But Emma had other plans.

Her arms remained firmly around his neck, a mumbled sound of disagreement falling from her lips when he attempted to disentangle himself. Her eyelashes fluttered against her cheeks but her eyes remained closed. Sighing, and trying not to read too much into her clinginess, he shifted her further onto the bed and lay down beside her, tugging the covers over them both and resigning himself to his fate for the night.

She immediately snuggled into his side, sighing in contentment and stretching out like a cat, with one leg draped over his and her arm now thrown across his waist. He lay perfectly still, hardly daring to breathe, and listened to her breathing as it evened out, her body warm and soft, pressed up against him.

He was acutely aware of every noise the house made, and every slight shift of her body next to him. He figured he'd be awake all night and could slip back into his own room whenever she decided to turn over, but eventually he started to feel his eyelids getting heavy and before he realized it, he was drifting off to sleep.

* * *

 _CS_

* * *

"What the…fuck?"

Emma grumbled, her head feeling like she'd gone nine rounds with Mike Tyson. Sunlight was streaming in through her window and that was not something she was accustomed to when she almost-permanently kept her blinds closed. Listing her hand to shield herself from the brightness, Emma finally cracked an eye open.

Her blinds were gone.

And she had dirt in her hair. No…not dirt. Coffee grounds?

Confused, she moved to sit up, but was immediately overcome with a wave of nausea and groaned, pressing her hand to her forehead and laying still for a moment. But then she felt someone shift beside her, and Emma almost shot out of her own bed. Wide awake now, she stared in shock at her roommate, fast asleep in her bed.

Struggling to make sense of it all, and desperately trying to piece together what the hell had happened the night before, she slipped out of bed as silently as possible and made for the bathroom. Her mind was racing as she splashed her face with cold water in an attempt to startle herself back into reality and recall the events of the previous night.

She'd woken up with coffee grounds in her hair, her blinds a tattered mess on the floor, and a deliciously disheveled ( _shirtless_ , maybe even _naked?!_ ) Killian Jones in her bed. She was tempted to text August, but she wasn't entirely sure it was a good idea to clue him in on his wild night just yet, in case he was oblivious to what had gone down.

Biting back the hangover from hell, Emma slipped downstairs, planning to down a carton of OJ and her own weight in Lucky Charms – her go-to hangover cure combo.

But when she got to the kitchen, she stopped dead. It looked as though a bomb had hit it, and she ran a hand through her tangled hair. She couldn't help but wonder, with a mild sense of panic, if she and Killian had engaged in wild sex all over the house the night before, and that was why she was standing amidst culinary carnage.

Deciding that the clean-up mission could wait until later, she returned to her room and gathered some clothes as quickly and silently as possible. She then proceeded to lock herself in the bathroom and spent a little longer than necessary in the shower.

Thankfully, by the end of her shower she had two things: hair without any traces of coffee grounds, and a fully in-tact memory. It had all come back to her in a rush and she'd almost cried with relief knowing that she and Killian _hadn't_ jumped one another in a messy, drunken haze. She also startled herself a little when the voice at the back of her mind whispered that she wanted to remember her first time with him.

Pointedly choosing to ignore that voice, Emma quickly turned off the shower, wondering whether a peace offering left for Killian in the form of breakfast would be a good way to thank him for _not_ taking advantage of her when she'd practically offered herself to him on a platter. She cringed when she remembered the full frontal show she'd given him after her altercation with her blinds.

And yet he'd been a gentleman. Even though he'd been drunk himself, he still hadn't taken advantage of the situation, or her. And that set him apart from pretty much every other guy Emma had met.

Getting dried off and dressed in record time, Emma headed downstairs to throw together some form of 'thank you'/'I'm sorry for my boobs' breakfast. She decided against a 'thanks for not having sex with me while I was embarrassingly drunk' note to go along with it though, and chuckled to herself as she imagined him waking up to that.

The laugh died in her throat though, when she found August sitting on the sofa in her living room, a smug smirk on his face as he casually sipped the glass of OJ he'd helped himself too.

"You scared the shit out of me. How long have you been here, you little creeper?"

Emma threw over her shoulder as she made her way into the kitchen. She was studiously avoiding August's pointed gaze but she could feel it burning into her back and her cheeks flushed in response.

"Long enough to have walked into your room and found Mr. Tall Dark and Bangable _naked_ in your _bed_ , Emma Swan!"

"He's not naked. Just shirtless."

She shot back, and August groaned, slapping his hand to his forehead melodramatically.

" _Please_ tell me you rode him like a pony, Emma. _Please_. No one, and I mean _no one_ , has enough self-control to sleep next to _that_ and not jump it."

Emma glared at her best friend for a moment before rolling her eyes, not bothering to grace him with a response until he said her name with that warning tone she knew so well.

"No, we did not have sex, alright? For one, we were both far too drunk. And apparently, he's a _gentleman_ no matter how much he's had to drink. But also…he may have had to help disentangle me from my blinds, and I think that may have made me marginally less attractive…"

August paused for a moment, seemingly needing a moment to process his confusion, before shaking his head with a sigh.

"For a start, I don't think you could do anything to make that boy less attracted to you. But more importantly…why did you need disentangling from your blinds, Emma?"

He asked slowly, as though he was asking a 5 year old to explain why they'd thought it was a good idea to unravel six rolls of toilet paper, or draw eyebrows on the dog. Ducking her head, embarrassed, Emma mumbled the weak excuse that she'd slipped and got tangled when trying to open the window. August put his head in his hands for a moment before shooting her an expression that clearly yet silently called her out on bullshitting him. But Emma simply shook her head and pressed her lips together into a thin line.

Seeing that he was going to get nowhere with his 'weary parent' approach, August sighed and informed her they were going out for breakfast, and that he'd knock some sense into her over bagels and pancakes at Granny's.

As they reached the front door, however, Emma's heart dropped. Killian was coming downstairs. He cleared his throat awkwardly when he reached the bottom and, despite having her back to him, she just _knew_ he was scratching behind his ear the way he always did when he felt uncomfortable in a situation. She refused to admit that she found that habit of his infuriatingly attractive. Along with every other damn thing about him.

She could also practically feel the glee radiating in waves from August, who had been following her out, and winced before she turned to face Killian. He flashed her a somewhat nervous smile, his usual cheeky smirk nowhere in sight.

"Morning, August…morning, love."

He cleared his throat again and she'd been right about the nervous ear scratching. She offered him a tight smile, feeling the tension thick around them as she fumbled for something to say. She was _not_ good at navigating awkward situations, and August watching them like a hawk was not helping.

But before she could make some pathetic attempt at small talk in an effort to sidestep addressing the elephant in the room (or in their case, the hallway), August was looping his arm through Emma's and grinning at Killian in a way that immediately had dread knotting in Emma's stomach.

"Morning to you too, sunshine. The Lady Swan and I are heading to Granny's for breakfast. Care to join?"

Emma resisted the urge to elbow her so-called best friend in the ribs and retreat to her bedroom until Killian had forgotten she even existed anymore. But instead she simply gritted her teeth and pleaded with a god she didn't even believe existed for him to politely decline.

"Oh, yeah! Sure. Lemme just…"

He gestured to his current lack of a shirt (as though either Emma or August needed attention drawn to the fact that he was only wearing sweats) and canted his head toward the stairs. August nodded enthusiastically and Emma closed her eyes for a moment, taking a deep breath to keep herself from murdering her friend on the spot.

"You're an asshole and I hate you."

She said flatly, but August simply waved her away with a conspirational smirk on his face.

* * *

 _CS_

* * *

"I'm just gonna lift up these blinds. We don't want any more incidents, do we now."

Emma was sure that if she glared any harder at August, she would drill a hole right through his head and if looks could kill she certainly needed a license for the ones she was shooting across the table. Killian chuckled and turned to try and make eye contact with one of the waitresses (who had already been staring at Killian since the three of them had walked in) to come take their order. Being sat beside Emma meant he was mostly oblivious to the death glares she was giving her friend, but she attempted to rein them in regardless, despite August's continued efforts to embarrass her.

Within minutes, their food had arrived. And of course, she should have known that August had a wholly inappropriate ulterior motive when he'd ordered a bagel with cream cheese and a side of sausage. Yet she still almost choked on her pancakes when she lifted her gaze from her food and found August grinning at her, wiggling his eyebrows and suggestively sliding the sausage through the hole in the bagel.

She stared at him in horror and dared a sidelong glance at Killian, praying he hadn't caught on to the obscene demonstration opposite them. Thankfully, he seemed nonplussed to it all and Emma delivered a swift kick to August's shin beneath the table, gripping her knife and angling it toward him in a way that threatened areas of his anatomy she knew he would prefer to keep attached.

Wincing, he shot her a smirk and then turned back to his food, seemingly satisfied that he'd embarrassed her enough for the time being. He turned to Killian and Emma tensed, but he simply engaged him in small talk and she relaxed marginally.

Once they'd finished their breakfasts, Killian excused himself to the bathroom, and the second he was out of earshot, August pounced.

"Emma Swan, I swear to Joan Rivers' ghost, if you don't ask that boy out I will do it for you."

She sank down in her seat and sighed. Since realizing that morning that he hadn't taken advantage of her when he'd had ample opportunity to do so the night before, she'd been fighting the warm fuzzy feelings for him that she was most definitely not accustomed to.

It had been two weeks since the initial incident with her blinds, and two weeks since she'd been slapped in the face with the stunning realization that Killian Jones had feelings for her. Two weeks of thinking about him nonstop and finding it increasingly difficult to fight her attraction to him. It had been much easier when they'd simply been strangers living under the same roof. But now…well, now they both had enough decent material on each other that they could surely use it as blackmail at some point.

"Emma, come _on_. You like him, he likes you. None of us need a college education to figure that one out. Just…take a leap of faith. He's a nice guy. Give it a chance."

Putting her head in her hands, Emma groaned. When August dropped the innuendos and endless supply of stupid nicknames he had for Killian, she knew he was serious. Leaning forward to rest her elbows on the table, she met August's gaze.

"Do you think he'll fuck me over? Be honest with me. Because I have a notorious blind spot for the glaringly obvious and-"

"No," August cut in, his tone firm and sure, "I really don't think he will. You think I'd have been Team Captain Swan all this time if I thought he'd hurt you? I love you like sister and I'm also a good judge of character. He's one of the good ones. And I know every gory detail of your previous… _choice_ decisions. But he's not Neal, Emma."

His voice softened then and he reached across the table to briefly squeeze her hand. She blinked back tears and nodded. Then, taking a deep breath, she slipped out of the booth and made her way toward the restrooms with a final glance back at August, who gave her a double thumbs up and a small smile she knew said 'I'm proud of you' and 'fucking finally'.

* * *

 _CS_

* * *

"Whoa. Beware of lurking Swans. You okay, lass?"

Killian emerged from the bathroom to find Emma waiting anxiously, darting glances back toward the diner and shifting from foot to foot. She bit her lip and nodded, so he raised an eyebrow in concern. He rarely saw Emma nervous.

"I just…wanted to talk to you. About last night. I…wanted to thank you. For not taking advantage of me when I was too drunk to function and for not bringing up the fact that I practically gave you a topless lapdance. I don't think I'm ever gonna live that one down, if I'm honest."

She could feel her cheeks flushing even just talking about it, but it made her feel slightly better that Killian blushed too at the mention of that particular experience.

"I'm a gentleman, Swan. And a gentleman never takes advantage of a fair maiden not in control of all her faculties. And…well, I didn't want us to end up doing something you'd regret. If you decide you want to pursue activities of that nature with me, I want to know that you're not under the influence of anything, and that it's truly your choice."

Emma's breath caught in her throat as he spoke, the open and earnest expression on his face making her whole body feel warm. August was right, he really was one of the good ones. And she knew he wasn't just all talk. She knew he was speaking with conviction and his actions the night before only served to reinforce that.

When she finally found her voice, she stepped closer and looked up at him with shining eyes.

"Do you always have to speak like you're from the 14th century? No one speaks like that, Killian."

She teased lightheartedly, sniffling. They could both hear the emotion in her voice. He grinned and offered her a slight bow, bringing them closer still as he straightened up.

"Aye, m'lady-"

"Shut up. I've come back here to ask you out, okay? So…do you wanna? Go out with me, I mean."

His eyes widened slightly and he stared at her in surprise. He certainly hadn't been expecting such a development in their tentative relationship when he'd tagged along for a hangover breakfast. She was shuffling her feet again, her confidence suddenly wavering as the silence stretched between them, and he realized he hadn't answered her.

"You can reply to that, y'know…"

She said quietly, her voice much smaller and laced with uncertainty. He cleared his throat, heart thumping loudly in his chest, and made a teasing sound of contemplation, which only served to earn him a punch in the arm from a very tense Emma.

Before she pulled her hand back though, he grabbed it and pulled her closer to him, until they were stood almost chest-to-chest in the deserted back hallway of Granny's Diner. His gaze dropped to her lips and for a long moment neither of them dared to breath, each challenging the other to make the first move.

With a smile, Killian closed the space between them and felt her melt into his embrace the moment his lips found hers. She made a soft mewl of appreciation into his kiss and his arms tightened around her, never wanting the moment to end. He could taste cinnamon and syrup in her kiss and he reveled in the way she clung to him, one hand gripping a fistful of his shirt and the other skimming over his ribs. He couldn't help but shudder, and he could feel that she was just as affected as he was.

Pulling back finally, Emma realized they'd somehow ended up with her pressed up against the wall, his firm body pressed flush against her and his hand in her hair. She took in the utterly wonderstruck expression on his face, knowing she was probably mirroring the exact same expression, and grinned.

"So…was that a yes?"

* * *

 _Fin._


End file.
